Bruce Perry writes that when we are pushed out of balance, the stress response system becomes activated to help us. The fight or flight response is not the only way we respond to threat. If we perceive ourselves as being too small to fight and unable to flee, the brain and the rest of the body prepare for injury. Heart-rate decreases. Opioids, the body’s painkiller, is released. We disengaged from the external world and retreat to the inner world. Time might feel like it is slowing and we might feel like we are floating or watching a situation from outside yourself. This is called ‘dissociation’. This is a common adaptive strategy for babies and children. In this state we tend to seek to please and comply with what others want. We seek to avoid conflict.
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