For an infant, skin-to-skin warmth, the smell and sight of the caregiver, and their attentive and responsive actions is experienced as love. Thousands of loving interactions shape the developing brain – they build the foundation of the organising brain.
When the infant is distressed and the caregiver responds by meeting their need to bring them back into balance is a pattern that builds resilience. When an infant is moderately stressed, cries out and the caregiver responds by regulating them, the infant learns from this attentive behaviour that there will be a predictable response from the environment that will ease their distress. The infant begins to associate people with pleasure and warmth. Their view of the world and others are being shape in these interactions.
Unresponsiveness – when the caregiver does not respond to the infants needs and distress – helps to build a sensitised and vulnerable child.
Responsiveness is love in action. These interactions help to build the capacity to love. Loving behaviours allow us to grow the neural networks that allow us to feel loved and then feel love towards others. If you are loved, you learn to love.