Psychological suffering and emotion pain signal unmet needs (Greenberg, 2021). Emotions carry information about whether needs are met or unmet.
Les Greenberg refers to the psychological needs that are most commonly not responded to or are violated that leave a legacy of suffering:
- The need to feel connected and understood. When this need is not met, we are left with sad loneliness and the basic anxiety of insecurity
- The need to be respected and acknowledged as valuable, appreciated and validated for the person one is and what one does. When this need is not met it leaves a legacy of shame.
- The need for safety and security – when this is lacking there remains a legacy of fear.
Exercise
When a painful emotion arises, ask: What is the unmet need embedded within this emotion?